You Call This a Mission?
by Ara Catwing
Summary: Weiss has to infiltrate a strip joint... ^^


  
YOU CALL THIS A MISSION?  
By Ara Catwing  
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(Ara marches on screen, dressed in makeshift "I-found-it-in-the-kitchen" armour)  
  
Ara: I have made a discovery. (She waves a spatula-sword) My brother! He's Farfarello! In disguise! He giggles! And likes/licks knives! And I SWEAR TO GOD he can't feel pain! At all! So while I hide out, you get a pretty spoof fic!  
  
Disclaimer & Warning: Heh. Heh. Heh.  
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Key:   
~blah.~ = song lyrics  
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I'm too lazy to write the beginning. So what's going on is WeiB had to infiltrate a gay strip joint.... enjoy ^_^  
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"I'm not going out there!" Yohji was stubbornly sitting backstage. Omi looked at him, big blue eyes filling with tears.  
  
"But... but Yohji-kun! Ken-kun is in disguise!"  
  
Yohji's face turned green as he thought of Ken and the skimpy cat costume his "disguise" consisted of. "I-AM-NOT-GOING."  
  
The owner of the club ducked out of his office, "Hey, you're next, pretty boy."  
  
Yohji frantically glanced around, looking for an escape route.  
***  
Schuldige smirked from his place at the bar. He lit a cigarette, and focused his eye onto the stage. Judging from the screaming thoughts coming from behind the curtain, he could have some fun with the next one.  
  
Abruptly, a slender man was shoved on stage. Schuldige couldn't help but laugh.  
  
Yohji just stood there, shaking. Slowly, every eye in the house turned to him, mainly out of curiosity as to the pause in performers.  
  
Schuldige took another long drag on his cigarette, then crushed it on the counter. He cracked his knuckles, looked like it was up to him to make sure these people got a show.  
***  
Aya smirked from his hiding place. There was no mission, or target. He was just always one for revenge. And this was certainly sweet.  
***  
Ken grabbed his tail back from one of his more drunk admirers, a scarlet blush creeping up his neck and deepening. Yohji had *damn* well better do something. Another man whisky on his breath, threw his arm around Ken's shoulders and ran his finger along Ken's collar. "Ya' know," he hiccuped, "Yer' real cute when yer' blushing..."  
  
Ken whined in fear, and prayed for his bugnuks.  
***  
Backstage, Omi and a Transvestite happily played "Go-Fish". Omi looked up with a furrowed brow, "Do you have any..." suddenly it hit him, "Oh! I forgot the music!" He turned, and pushed "play" on a large stereo system. "Okay! Got any sixes?"  
***  
  
Yohji was just about to bolt when the first note of "Carnival Babel" sounded [Author's Note: The "Blue Seed" Theme Song, it always sounded like stripper music to me ^^]. Something compelled him to move. SHIT.  
***  
~Mysterious TOKYO~  
~Take it easy dangerous night~  
***  
His jacket slid back, and Yohji's hand moved up, seductively fumbling with his shirt. Schuldige admired his own art, making each of the man's movements slow and sexy.  
***  
Ken's jaw dropped as Yohji's shirt hit the floor. He *wasn't*! No way...  
***  
~Mysterious TOKYO~  
~Pick me up foxy night game~  
***  
Yohji was down to a pair of black silk boxers and a fendora.  
***  
~Tsukikage saewatari~  
~Betsu no yorue izanau~  
***  
Drips of sweat ran down Schuldige's forehead as Yohji flipped the hat off his shining, chestnut locks of hair.  
***  
~Sameta tokai no kodou abiru KLAXON~  
***  
"NONONO! IWON'TCAN'TNO!" Yohji's mind screamed as he fought Schuldige's control.  
***  
~Kodoku yori taikutsu no seijaku wa LABYRINTH~  
~~KAIRAKU nimi wo yudanete midaru yoru wa ILLUMINTION~  
***  
Schuldige's head was throbbing. he cut off his control and fell back against the bar. He laughed again. It was really too bad his game with Yohji had ended, but the man's delicious fear and panic still wafted in the air.  
***  
~Aoi, aoi toki go tokedshita~  
~Hakanaku ukigaru mirai~  
***  
Yohji froze. His movements were finally his own. /I'm gonna kill the cheeky German.../ he thought. Then, he noticed just about everyone looking at him.  
***  
~Inochi wa hikari no kazu dake~  
~Kiameite chiriyuku~  
***  
Clapping and cat-calls began slowly, but cascaded in a violent rush for cheers for Yohji to finish his "performance"  
  
As another "Mysterious Tokyo" verse began, Yohji marched off stage.   
***  
  
Omi had just acquired a pair of 10's when Yohji walked past him.  
  
"Don't. Say. A. Thing."  
  
"Okay... Yohji-kun..." Omi said, stifling his laughter,  
  
After the echo of the slamming door from Yohji's exit faded, the transvestite turned to Omi, " Can I have his phone number?"  
***  
  
Ken whimpered and ducked behind the bar. He bolted, and in one smooth movement sprang onto the stage, grabbed the coat left by Yohji's striptease and disappeared backstage.  
***  
  
Aya had a smug look on his face when he too walked by Omi on his way to the exit.  
  
"That was mean of you, Aya-kun." the boy reminded his leader.  
  
"Yea, but those two deserved it."  
  
-=Owari=-  
  
What did Ken and Yohji do to Aya?  
No idea.  
  
How'd they get Ken into that outfit?  
Ya got me.  
  
Who won the "Go Fish" game?  
I'd like to believe Omi, but I really don't know ^_^ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ 


End file.
